I will be wearing a pretty dress, heels, and mascara for the first time since summer.
So the cold sore that appeared on my upper lip a few days ago was less welcome than usual.
AAAHHHHHH, SUSAN!!! Why, why, why? This is SO YOU, just classic, gross Susan. Oh, there's an important event coming up? BAM! Cold sore!
You should hear me the week leading up to something fun (high-school reunion, Christmas party, tropical vacation, whatever); I begin reciting my pleasedon'tletmegetacoldsore, pleasedon'tletmegetacoldsore mantra. I'm not sure who I'm telling exactly because generally I'm not a prayer, but I figure begging and pleading can't hurt. (Hey, you never know who might be listening, though why they'd listen to me, I don't know.)
This week's cold sore got me thinking about my childhood and the dreaded SCHOOL PICTURE DAY. Because, inevitably, I'd get a cold sore beforehand and ruin the photo.
Oh, you think I'm exaggerating? Yeah, so did I at first. I thought maybe once I had a cold sore in a school picture and that time had distorted the memory. But then while at my parents' house over Thanksgiving, I decided to peruse some old photo albums.
And that's when I confronted The Horror (not in chronological order):
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| Super-cute pigtails...super-gross cold sore. |
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| My mom calls this one my "Queen Victoria" pose. I call it "Ugly Amish girl with cold sore." |
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| The smile is a hopeful one that says "Gee, I hope my almost-but-not-quite-gone cold sore doesn't show up in the picture!" No such luck, Little Susan. |
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| I loved that APPLE shirt. What I didn't love was the cold sore that appeared on my face every year before Picture Day. (The glare hides it but trust me it's there, bottom-right). |
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| Mustard-colored 70's turtleneck=ugly Mustard-colored turtleneck + cold sore=heinous |
All five photos are from elementary school. And since I was in elementary school for a total of six years...well, you do the math. Okay, I'll do the math: over 80% of the time I had a cold sore in my school photo. That is craaaazy. And disgusting, painful, and embarrassing.
And humbling...definitely oh-so humbling.
You were the cutest kid ever! I never would've noticed the cold sores in those pix - too busy admiring the awesome seventies garb :-)
ReplyDeleteMy sister was always prone to cold sores. Back in the day, she found massive amounts of lysine to be helpful. Now, the minute she starts to feel that tingling, she takes zovirax to knock it out before it arrives in full force.
PS. Have fun at the party. Everyone will be so blitzed they won't notice and/or you'll be so drunk you won't care if they *do* notice.
This collection of cold sores is classic and hilarious and so very, very sad. At least you were spared in high school. Funny, funny shit!
ReplyDeleteDorothea, unfortunately, I was NOT spared in high school. I got them all the time--even worse than you see here. I actually stayed home "sick" once or twice b/c they were too horrible.
ReplyDeleteHey, I loved my mustard coloured '70s turtlenecks... The cold sores before photo day, not so much.
ReplyDeleteCee.