What I Learned from The Rolling Stones

"Sympathy for the Devil" came on the radio the other day and, while singing along, I got to thinking about the role music--rock 'n' roll specifically--has played in my education.

Yes, you read that right: my education.

Because it was through listening (on beloved WBCN, no doubt) to the Stones' 1968 masterpiece back when I was in high school that I learned about the Russian Revolution of the early 20th century.

I stuck around St. Petersburg 
When I saw it was a time for a change.
Killed the tsar and his ministers.
Anastasia screamed in vain.

Who was this Anastasia person? Up to that point, my public-school education had neglected to cover the Russian Revolution. So I looked it up (using the Google of the 80s: our trusty set of Encyclopedia Britannicas) and read the tragic story of pretty, young--and murdered--Anastasia. Thanks for that one, Mick and Keith.

My education-through-music started way back in the 1970s, when I was just a kid. One of the first things I remember learning from rock 'n' roll were the indispensable "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." I made sure to store Paul Simon's helpful tips in my head for future reference.

I really started learning in fourth grade, with the release of Grease. Oh, how I loved that movie! I had the Grease backpack, photo-novel, and, of course, the awesome double album. I wore that record out. Learned a lot from it, too. One of my favorite tunes, "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee" was belted out by Stockard Channing:

Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee,
Lousy with virginity.
Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed.
I can't, I'm Sandra Dee!

I remember going to my mother for clarification: "Mom? What does 'virginity' mean?"

And if I recall correctly, she explained it to me.

Yeah, Grease pretty much taught me about sex.

When I was 12 years old, my obsession with Rick Springfield got me to look up the meaning of "moot" after I heard it in "Jessie's Girl." How many tweens do you know who can use moot correctly in a sentence? Exactly.

The list goes on and on:

- The Beatles' "Helter Skelter," which I heard for the first time in the early 80s, sent me running for the encyclopedia so I could study Charles Manson and all his evilness. I especially loved it that one of his acolytes was a suburban Armenian girl named Linda Kasabian. So cool.

- The 1982 song "Key Largo" (by some dude I've never heard of named Bertie Higgins) went like this: "We had it all, just like Bogie and Bacall. Starring in our old late, late show. Sailing away to Key Largo." My parents explained to me who Bogie and Bacall were. Up until that point, the only classic films I'd seen were The Wizard of Oz and The Sound of Music.

- "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" taught me that some grown-ups--even married ones!--placed and answered personal ads. And that some people's idea of having fun on the dunes at the Cape had nothing to do with building sandcastles.

- From "Run, Joey, Run" I learned that, in some families, violence was the norm.

- "Another Brick in the Wall" taught me that it was way better to be an American girl growing up in the 70s than and English schoolboy during wartime.

Plus hundreds more, I'm sure....

What about you? What have you learned from rock 'n' roll?

I Couldn't Possibly Have Been This Annoying as a Child, Could I Have?

My son's elementary school is only K through Grade 2. I love that the school is specially geared to meet the needs of this young and impressionable age group, and also that he doesn't have to sit on the bus with rambunctious, huge (to him) fifth graders.

When the kids enter school they are five, and by the time they leave most have turned eight. Three years--no big deal, right? I didn't think so, but then the other day it was brought to my attention just how much older kids are at eight than they are at five.

Last Thursday the Kindergarteners didn't have school because it was orientation for next year's batch of K-ers, but it was a normal day for first- and second-graders. It was finally decent out after a few days of rain and gloom so we headed to the elementary school playground just as school was letting out.

We had the playground to ourselves for a few minutes, but before long the after-school club (kids whose parents work) joined us.

"Where are the Kindergarteners?" one girl asked.

"They didn't have school today. Isn't it soooo much better without them here?" answered a wise-ass boy (to whom I immediately gave the stink eye).

The boys broke off to play football with one of the apathetic high school kids who only do the job because their parents force them to supervisors, while a group of second-grade girls came over to the fire-engine structure where my kids were playing.

The girls climbed to the top, leaned against the bars in a tightly packed group, and began to sing as loudly as possible:

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else,

                            The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

You don't know, 

Oh oh,

You don't know you're beautiful,

If only you saw what I can see,

You'll understand why I want you so desperately,

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,

You don't know,

Oh oh,

You don't know you're beautiful,

Oh oh,

That's what makes you beautiful

I was unfamiliar with the song, though I figured it might be a new tune by Katy Perry or Kelly Clarkson (though it didn't sound slutty enough to be Katy or angry enough to be Kelly). It was vapid and frothy and catchy...one of those new British boy bands, perhaps? So, yeah, I Googled it when I got home. It's "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction, for those of you who don't happen to live with a female between the ages of 8 and 18 and therefore have remained blissfully ignorant.

The adorable faces and Bieber-esque
hair of One Direction

Over and over and over and over they screamed sang those words. Never any other part of the song--just those lines. It was super annoying.

The supervisor stopped the football game. He came over and hollered, "Girls! Enough! Sing something else...anything else! PLEASE!" (Ha, not so apathetic now, are you dude?)

Did it work? Of course not. The howling-passing-for-singing continued.

The girls reminded me of myself when I was young, except in those days we sang "Da-Do-Ron-Ron" or tunes from Grease. And that wasn't until fourth or fifth grade. I didn't have any mad crushes on pop stars until I was at least ten.

But nowadays the girls start earlier. Call me crazy but eight just seems way too young to be singing love songs and giggling about boys. 

Now I know what to look forward to when my own Little Lady turns eight. Someone please help me.