Tattoo You

I think it's pretty awesome that Gen X turned getting tattooed from a weird and fringe activity into something mainstream. Back in the 90s, millions of post-collegiate 20-somethings got themselves inked. The girls either got something cute (dolphin, butterfly) on their ankle or something abstract on their lower back. (This is often referred to as a "tramp stamp"--a name I hate for something I still think is cool and sexy.)  The guys often chose tribal-looking bands around their biceps or calves.

I myself went with a small sun on my shoulder blade. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision... and no, I wasn't drunk. I went to my friend Jen's apartment one Friday night and we got talking about tattoos. Turns out both of us had wanted one for ages. So the next day, we met up at a tattoo place on Ludlow Street and did the deed. It was a summer Saturday afternoon--I got the sun, she got a butterfly--and afterward we went to The Hat (El Sombrero) for margaritas to celebrate. It was one of those perfect It's-the-summer-and-I'm-young-and-living-in-Manhattan-and-life-is-great days. Ah, bliss.

Fast-forward 15 years...and lots of these got-tattooed-in-their-twenties folks are now parents. Every summer, it cracks me up to see the moms sitting around the edge of the town's baby pool, their wild tattoos on display as they supervise their frolicking babies. I realize not everyone agrees with me here, but I think the moms look cute with their slightly stretched-out roses, fleur-de-lis, and dragonflies. (WARNING: If you plan on ever having kids in the future, please carefully choose the location of your tattoo, e.g. abdomen=bad.)

Occasionally, I come across a person who did more than just dabble in the tattoo arts back in the day. I've seen a couple of dads at the pool with multiple tattoos scattered over their arms, backs, and chests; one guy even has the tattooed sleeve thing going on.

A heavily tattooed mom, however, is a much rarer thing (at least it is in Westchester).

Picture this on her neck.

But today I saw her: Late thirties or early forties, three sons, dirty blonde hair, thin, tired-looking, no makeup...and numerous tats, including an intricate spider web that covers THE ENTIRE FRONT OF HER NECK. She also has three star tats scattered behind each ear, a HUGE filled-in heart covering the nape of her neck, and the requisite lower-back abstract. Who knows what additional ink she's hiding under her clothes.

Whenever I see her--usually at the kids' indoor gym we frequent--I have to stifle a gasp, so shocking is her appearance in our relatively traditional suburban town.

OMG, WHAT IS HER STORY? I wonder every time I see her. Because you know there's a good yarn behind her tats. How'd she end up a stay-at-home mom living in Westchester? Maybe she's a Dominatrix on the side? There's  gotta be something juicy there, and I really want to know.

I wish she seemed more approachable because then I'd try to chat her up. Then after the appropriate interval of time, I'd express admiration for her tattoos and maybe get the inside story. But--surprise!--the chick with the neck tats does not seem approachable at all.

So for now I guess I'll just eyeball her when she's not looking and hope I get to know her one day so I can find out the story behind all her ink. Or better yet, get to know someone who already knows her and her tat tale.

Hmmm...but now that I think about it, one of her sons is named Logan, and when she's ready to leave the play-gym she calls out "LOGEY! Time to go, Logey!" How badass can she be, right?

So very disappointing.