School Daze

Ack! I can't believe I'm already stressing my son getting into college...and he hasn't even started Kindergarten yet. It's going to be a nerve-wracking 13 years, that's for sure.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Tiger Mothers who sign their two-year-olds up for Arabic classes or force piano lessons on 'em at age four. My son is smart but normal: he's five and just starting to read, and he only speaks one language. I want him to have a normal childhood and pursue those activities that truly interest him, regardless of what might look best on his college application.

But is playing dinosaurs and making pom-pom animals really putting my son on the Ivy League track?

And that's what it comes down to, folks. I went to an Ivy League university and I'll do everything in my power to give my kids that opportunity as well. Because, unlike the haters out there (you're all just jealous!), I believe that graduating from an Ivy League college opened many doors for me.

I was a driven teenager. I knew from an early age that I wanted to attend a top-notch university, so everything I did from then on was with my eyes on the prize. Sure, I enjoyed playing clarinet, but the only reason I busted my butt learning every single scale--minors included!--was so I'd earn a spot in the selective, award-winning concert band. Why? Because it would look good on my college app.

I was an excellent student--ranked #8 in my graduating class of 270 students--but nowadays even being Valedictorian does not guarantee a kid admittance to an Ivy. And besides my grades, I did everything else quite averagely: average soccer player, average clarinet player, average number of extracurriculars. My SAT scores were above-average but nothing spectacular.

There are high school seniors out there today who, with the same qualifications I had 24 years ago, wouldn't even get into one of my safety schools. So what does that mean for my kid? Things are bound to get even more competitive over the next decade, no?

I'm just afraid that, in order to be a competitive candidate, my son will have to sign up for every single club his school offers, speak multiple languages, be a musical virtuoso, have a .350 batting average on the varsity baseball team, and take five AP classes every semester. Not mention summer internships at the White House. Forget about how the heck my kid is supposed to deal with that workload, let's talk about how his MOTHER's going to hack it. Am I right, people?

Because I know, I JUST KNOW...it's going to be me gently nudging him to amp it up, me suggesting he join the f-ing Mathletes (may he forgive me someday), me helping him study for his APs. Did you know high school kids these days compile something called an Activity Sheet? It's essentially a resume for high-achieving teens without jobs on which they brag about how many Science Fairs they've won. Reading one can make your skin crawl.

I should probably not care what colleges my kids get into. I should probably not push them at all and just let them "follow their bliss" wherever it may lead them. But knowing myself, it's unlikely that will happen. I don't know what the answer is. All I do know is that it's a scary world out there...and it freaks me out that we are willingly sending our kids out into it.