Things I'm Sad My Kids Won't Experience

The world has changed so much over the past few decades. Many of the changes are incredible and awesome, but not all. Occasionally, I'll catch myself thinking fondly about something I did or experienced when I was younger, and it will occur to me that, because the world is so different now, my kids probably won't have the pleasure of that experience.

Here are some things I'm bummed they'll (probably) miss out on:

I remember being 12 and going to the
record store to buy my brother an Ozzy
record for his birthday. This album
cover was an education.

Poring Through Records at a Divey, Yet Excellent, Record Store
Remember when the only way to learn what the singers of the songs you loved looked like was through the record store? Remember wasting countless hours trying to decide which album to spend your allowance money on? And the record store was educational, too: How else was I going to learn about Satanism if not via Ozzy Osbourne's album covers?

Receiving a Love Letter in the Mail
I don't mean to brag but I've received a few love letters in my day. Sure, I've gotten love emails too, but there is no comparison: Hand-written sweet nothings beat those printed out on 8.5 x 11 computer paper any day.

MTV Circa 1982
The town I grew up in didn't get cable until practically the 90's (boo!). But the next town over got it in the early 80's, and luckily my grandparents lived in that town (yay!). Whenever we'd go over their house for dinner, my brother and I would turn on MTV, sit on the floor a foot from the screen, and become zombified for hours. It was the most awesome thing ever invented and I was completely obsessed. I think we somehow even convinced the adults to let us leave the TV on DURING DINNER. I remember jumping up from the table mid-turkey-eating and running into the family room upon hearing the beginning strains of INXS's "The One Thing." Michael Hutchence was so hot in that video my tween self could hardly handle it. MTV blew my mind on a regular basis back then.

No idea where this photo is from, but this is pretty
much how I remember it. 

A Huge Blizzard (Like the One in 1978) That Closes School for Weeks
Okay, so it's possible. But if this winter is any indication of how this Climate Change thing is going, massive blizzards are a thing of the past. I will never forget, in 1978, opening up our front door to find an impenetrable wall of snow. Poor grown-ups: Their cars were buried, the shoveling was murder, and their annoying kids were home from school for two weeks. But for us kids it was unbelievable: School was cancelled for two weeks (!!), and all we did was build epic forts and sledding tracks that led downhill from the front yards of our houses to the back. Incredible speeds were attained, no helmets were worn, much hot chocolate was drunk. Legendary.

Visiting a Europe Where the Residents Actually Seem Foreign
My mother is British so we spent a lot of family vacations in England, and back in the 70's and 80's (and even the early 90's) there was very little American influence over there. One or two McDonalds in London, maybe. The city was still very Dickensian then--stark, historic, beautiful, and so, so different from America. My last visit to London was in 2005, and I spent the whole trip marveling at how American the city looked and felt. The ratio of quaint, dingy pubs to garish, cheesy chain stores had officially tipped in the wrong direction. I'm sure it's even worse now. The same goes for Paris, Rome, Madrid, etc. Too bad. Where does a person have to go to escape America's clutches?

But on the other hand, technological advances have certainly made life better in many ways. Here's a list of a few things I'm glad my kids (hopefully) will never have to suffer through:

Catching the Chicken Pox
Using a Fax Machine
Dial-Up Internet
Acid-Wash Jeans
MS-DOS
And the worst of the worst: 
Having to Type Up Their College Applications One-By-Excruciating-One

I Want My MTV

All last week, I was looking forward to the MTV Video Music Awards (which aired last night, 9/12). Yeah, I know...it's for 12-year-olds, so shoot me. But at 10:30 p.m., as I started getting ready for bed, I suddenly remembered: The goddamn, motherf*@#ing awards are on!! I had totally spaced. I rushed downstairs, thinking I'd catch the last half-hour, but because we were already taping both "Mad Men" and "Entourage," I couldn't watch without un-recording one of those shows. I sacrificed the first five minutes of "Entourage" to watch Chelsea Handler get in a hot tub with "The Jersey Shore" idiots (and emerge fake-pregnant--ha-ha, good one), but then turned the TV off, and went to bed. Forget it, I was too late.

What's the big deal, you ask? It's just a stupid awards show on a stupid channel with stupid shows and no videos, you say? Okay, you have a point...but I happen to love videos. Always have, always will.

"I want my MTV!" was music television's slogan in its early days, but it was also my most desperate wish. My grandmother, who lived in the next town over from us, got cable in the early 80's and therefore had MTV. Our more-upscale town, however, thought cable would rot our brains so they held out for years. No MTV for us.

As a result, when holidays came around and my family went to Grandma's house to celebrate, my brother and I (13 and 12 years old respectively) would park ourselves in front of the TV/MTV for six hours straight. I'm surprised my parents allowed this, but I guess they figured the silence was better than non-stop whining: "PLEEEEEEASE, can we watch MTV? PLEEEEEEASE?"

By age 12, I finally had outgrown the little-girl music I was previously obsessed with (Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett), and the videos on MTV--the first I'd ever seen--hit me like a ton of bricks. I was mesmerized by them: trying to figure out how exactly something could "Hurt So Good," examining Billy Idol's sexy lip curl as he rasped "Hot in the City," and watching a delicious Michael Hutchence circle that banquet table in "The One Thing." I'm sure there were some chick videos on, too, but I don't remember those.

Thus began my addiction to videos. It was hard to get my fix without cable or MTV, but luckily, the Boston area had a crummy local VHF channel, V66, that aired videos during certain time slots. They played some of the same videos as MTV but also gave local bands air time. I saw 'Til Tuesday's "Voices Carry" on V66 way before the song was a massive hit. Other Boston bands didn't hit it as big, but it doesn't mean they weren't good. Check out the video for Face to Face's "10-9-8," which I only ever saw on V66. (How hot are her red boots, by the way?)

I still watch videos whenever I can. At the gym, I often forgo my IPod to watch NYSC's video channel. If I have to suffer through Christinia DeBarge (could she really be the evil spawn of the DeBarge of the 80's?) to see the new Ting Tings vid, it's worth it. I even occasionally watch videos On Demand. (I mean, really, who does that?)