The Only Political Post I Will Probably Ever Write

I'm not all that political. I mean, I dabbled in my youth, as many of us do. But then life got in the way. When your day is spent changing diapers, singing lullabies, and getting spit up on, you care a little less who the president is.

This election, however, has gotten me a bit riled up again.

Yes, I am pretty liberal; however, I can understand some conservatives' positions. I agree there's a lot of government waste, though I don't believe the solution is scrapping the programs altogether. I also agree that the--what is it, 50%?--inheritance tax seems like unfair double-dipping.

BUT...I truly believe that universal healthcare is important, and that it will end up paying for itself in the long run. I'm of a let's-get-the-heck-out-of-the-middle-east-and-then-maybe-we'll-have-some-money-left-to-take-care-of-our-own mentality. Do I want to leave the poor Afghani civilians whose country we've helped destroy high and dry? Not really, but it's not as if there's a lack of needy people right here.

My main issue, however--the one that means I'll be a democrat forever--is reproductive rights. There are a million other issues that are more pertinent to this election--oh, the economy, the war(s), jobs, healthcare, education--but as long as republicans make reproductive rights an issue, I can't put it second.

I am totally, 100% pro-choice. Does that mean I'm callously pro-abortion? Of course not. I cry when my cat kills a moth. Trust me, I respect life. (Which is also why I'm pro-gun control.) I understand and respect people who could never, ever have an abortion. I am fortunate never to have had to make that decision. But I know women who have--and it's never something they've taken lightly.

That's what bothers me most with the pro-lifers. They talk about how women getting abortions don't think about or understand the consequences. They want to force women to get ultrasounds beforehand, to undergo counseling, lectures, and waiting periods. It's all so insulting.

I'm sure there are some people who don't think it through; in most cases, I bet they're young girls who aren't mature enough to process the situation fully. Yet conservatives would want a young, naive girl to go through with the pregnancy. And then what? She's going to give the baby up to a childless and loving couple for adoption? More often than not, this poor girl is going to take one look at the infant she just went through hell to birth, fall in love, and want to keep it.

So now there's a 16-year-old girl trying to raise a baby. She probably drops out of school, maybe goes on welfare, maybe doesn't have the maturity necessary to be a good mother. Very possibly the child suffers for it. This costs the country way more than an abortion would.

Yes, I understand that it's a potentially viable life (but not yet--life means being able to survive on one's own). But abortion has been legal for decades, and restrictions are only going to cause problems. It's going to mean delays that result in later-term abortions. If one state passes parental-notification laws, for example? Well, then 14-year-old girls are going to spend time trying to hitch a ride to another, more lenient state, instead of getting it taken care of early in the pregnancy.

Yes, I'm sure there are women who get abortions cavalierly. And that is awful. But in most cases, I'll bet not carrying the baby to term ends up better than the alternative.

All I have to do is think back to my high school years. The notion of getting pregnant scared the hell out of me. Good thing I was a good girl and didn't allow for that chance. Fear kept me on the straight and narrow. But Reagan was president at the time, and the notion of restrictions--like parental notification--becoming law seemed possible. I remember thinking that if I got pregnant and had to tell my parents before being allowed an abortion, I would either run away from home or kill myself.

Melodramatic? Sure...but I was a teenaged girl. Teenaged girls are not known for their straight thinking. Hence why they shouldn't be mothers. Hence why they usually don't give their unplanned babies (that they can't take care of) up for adoption.

And don't even get me started on cases of rape, incest, or mother's health.

I'm sure I'm not the only girl who ever felt that way. Is that what we want? Restrictions aren't the answer. Education is the answer. Teen pregnancy and abortion are already down: we are on the right track. Better access to birth control--along with promoting abstinence (I agree that abstinence is ideal)--is the way to keep on that right track.

Also, can someone please explain to me why condoms are OTC and inexpensive but birth control pills are prescription-only and a fortune? Leave it to the boys? The only demographic less sensible than teenage girls is teenage boys. Great plan, U.S.A.

Please remember to vote, everyone.

Itsy, Bitsy, Teeny, Weeny Bikini

Summer is here once again, which is awesome. I'm a big fan of summertime. Here in our town of Mt. Pleasant, we are lucky to have the greatest municipal pool I've ever seen. It has a million features, including a 40-foot, tunneled, corkscrew water slide. All for less than $500 per family.

As you can imagine, we are at the pool as often as possible, which means running into the same families day after day. This can be great when the moms are interesting and the kids well-behaved. But when the kids are wild and the mom weird, well, it can be sucky.

There is this woman: We don't see her much during the school-year (thankfully we're in different school districts), but every time we're at the pool, we run into her and her brood. Because my children are close in age to two of hers (she has three kids and is pregnant with #4), we get to talking as moms do. She's perfectly nice, but let's just say that our politics and philosophies could not be more different, and for that reason she annoys me.

Mind you, it's not like we actually talk about politics or philosophy, but you can learn a lot about a person just by discussing kids and hobbies. I've written about this woman before: Once she made a crack about how she'd better start using sunscreen or else she'd "look 40" in no time (not realizing I was 41); another time, she offended me with the Pro-life bumper stickers on her mini-van.

Since our paths have started crossing again, I've been a bit wary of her. And sure enough, the other day Ms. Clueless did it again. We were sitting on the edge of the kiddie pool watching our kids and chatting. Her four-year-old daughter had on the cutest bathing suit: pink and green, flamingo-patterned, skirt bottom, short-sleeved top, matching headband. I complimented the mom on the suit, and she said, "Yeah, I think it's so cute but I couldn't get her to wear it at first. Then I was like, 'I paid $20 bucks for it, you're wearing it!' I don't know, I'm just not into bikinis for little girls." She crinkled up her nose. "There's no need to show that much skin when they're so young."

Not ten feet away, my three-year-old daughter was splashing around in her bikini. I wanted to smack the b*#ch.

Looking adorbs in her bikini

I happen to think bikinis on little girls are adorable. And they are also practical when you are trying to potty train your kid--getting a wet one-piece off an about-to-bust toddler is challenging, to say the least. My daughter has about five swimsuits, yet she almost always chooses the bikini, even though it's from last year and barely fits anymore.

I'm not about to argue with her about which swimsuit to wear. I mean, what is the BFD if your toddler wears a bikini? In Europe the little girls splash around topless, and no one cares. Why must Americans--especially those who are part of the religious right--be so uptight about this stuff?

They think they're protecting their kids but what they're really doing is giving them complexes. What's Ms. Clueless going to do when her precious little girl turns sixteen and starts rebelling against all the Puritanical dogma with micro-minis and piercings?

That I would like to see.