Say Yes to the Dress

My four-year-old daughter will only wear dresses. She has dozens of them: long-sleeved winter ones we pair with thick tights; comfortable, everyday cotton ones; light, flouncy sundresses; fancy, poofy, special-occasion ones. Most are hand-me-downs and the rest were bought at inexpensive stores. Luckily, we haven't had to take out a loan to fund her little dress obsession. Yet.

I've noticed the other girls in her preschool class wearing dresses pretty often. It must be the age. I vaguely remember my niece going through a "dresses only" phase when she was little (which morphed into an "anything but dresses" phase).

So I'm pretty sure this too shall pass. And it's not like it's a big deal. It's only clothes, after all. Except that there are times when a fancy frock isn't exactly practical. Take the other day for instance. It was a rare day when we had nothing to do, so my little lady and I decided to hit DD first, then visit a local playground. Here is what she opted to wear:

What would you call that dress? It's like a pinafore, right? She chose a pinafore and strappy, pink, jelly sandals with zero cushioning or traction. Not at all suited for playing in the dirtbox sandbox or climbing rope ladders. Did it slow her down? No. Did she regret her outfit choice? No.

I, however, enviously eyed the other little girls wearing sensible leggings, cargo pants, and sneakers. They looked so comfortable and didn't have to worry about stepping on the front of their dresses while climbing or getting wood chips stuck in their open-toed sandals.

I also don't like it that my sweetie-pie seems to measure her self-worth by how pretty her dress is. I remember one day not too long ago, I somehow managed to convince her to wear leggings. I think it was cold and rainy out and a dress just didn't make sense. The outfit was plenty pink and girly so I thought it would pass muster, but about halfway through the day, my daughter started crying for seemingly no reason.

"What's the matter, baby?" I asked.

"I don't look pretty," she whimpered.

"What? You always look pretty. There's no way you can't look pretty--you are a beautiful girl."

"But my clothes don't look pretty!" she wailed.

So up we went to her room and changed into an appropriately frou-frou dress, and the day was salvaged.

Another time, there was a birthday party at a kids gym. Again, it was coldish outside and because much climbing and tumbling would be occurring, I convinced my darling to wear leggings. Well, we got to the party only to discover that all the other little girls were wearing dresses. I watched her watching them. Her eyes darkened and she looked down at her outfit. I could see her little brain working to process it all.

My daughter at 18 mo. She's wearing leggings, T-shirt,
a brown sweatshirt. She let me dress her until age
two. This outfit would be unacceptable now. 

But she was a trooper. She didn't even mention it. She just she sucked it up and had fun anyway. But you can be sure that when she went to another party at that same venue a month later, she wore a very pretty dress.

I get that my daughter wants to look pretty--that's normal enough. But I do worry that she's taking it a bit too seriously. I don't want her confidence and self-worth to come from how she perceives herself to look.

I'm really hoping this is just a phase, too, and that as she matures, she'll understand that beauty is so much more. Of course we tell her all the time that she's smart, kind, and funny. We make sure to explain that a person can only be truly beautiful if he or she is kind-hearted and good. (Yes, Snow White is pretty, I explain, but what truly makes her beautiful is how nice, caring, and gentle she is to all those she meets.) 

I just hope it's sinking in.

My Daughter, the Diva

Fancy shoes, tights over the
swimsuit, Halloween hair tie

My three-year-old daughter thinks it's perfectly okay to go outside wearing a swimsuit with tights pulled up over it, plus fancy, white, flower girl shoes. I insist on a jacket because, well, it's October and 55 degrees out there.

Getting my daughter dressed every morning is a tiring negotiation. Her go-to look is psychotic fairy princess, so it's my job to tone it down as much as possible. No parent should ever fight with their child over the clothes they want to wear (unless said child is a 15-year-old female decked out in a micro-mini and belly shirt), but there's no way I'm standing back without at least attempting to coordinate her outfit. But often my pleadings suggestions fall on deaf ears, and my sweet pea leaves the house looking like a hot mess.

Minnie Mouse

Some days I can convince her that a sundress isn't the best choice for a chilly winter morning, but other times, I just have to insist on tights underneath, and hope her winter coat is thick enough to counteract the spaghetti straps and bare arms.

This morning she decided on a Halloween theme: black pumpkin shirt, jack-o-lantern hair tie, turquoise leggings with gold polka dots, and black socks to match. The fact that the socks had snowmen all over them did not deter her. After all, they were black and therefore matched.

I do realize this is normal behavior, but after being spoiled by my first-born--my son happily wears whatever I lay out for him--my diva-esque daughter is a bit of a shock.

Bathing beauty/princess

At least it's never boring. On a daily basis, I never know if I'm going to be hanging out with Snow White, Minnie Mouse, a prima ballerina, beach beauty, fairy, some wacky combination thereof, or some brand new character I've never met before. Every once in a while, I even get to hang out with a regular, three-year-old kid.

Those are the most surprising days of all.