Remember When "Being Green" Referred to Kermit the Frog?

 Anonymous Artist, 1971

Back in the 70's when I was a kid, there was plenty of talk about "ecological awareness" and "conservation." My elementary school even had a tree-planting ceremony every year on Earth Day (or was it Arbor Day?). But compared to nowadays, these efforts seem quaint in hindsight. Towns didn't have recycling programs back then, and cars were worse gas guzzlers (though there were fewer of them on the road). People might've looked outward at how they could help "Save the World" but no one really looked at their own lives and tried to "Go Green" on a daily basis. It was all macro, not micro. The oil crisis and protesting hippies did manage to raise consciousness about the state of the environment but for most people, helping meant signing petitions or sending a yearly check to Greenpeace.

80's Extravagance

Then came the 80's: OUR decade, the one in which we came of age. We were bombarded with "greed is good," "conspicuous consumption," "bigger is better," neon, shoulder pads, and Aqua Net. Hardly earthy-crunchy stuff. Recycling was certainly something I was aware of, but American culture at the time did not applaud or reward conservation. It was pretty much BUY BUY BUY! MORE MORE MORE!

Now it's GREEN GREEN GREEN all the time. Don't get me wrong, I am all for saving Mother Earth. We recycle, I tote my water in a reusable bottle, bring my own bags to the grocery store, and we've held off purchasing a second car (my husband bikes to the train station). Also, I figure the fact that I lived for ten years in Manhattan--a Manhattanite's carbon footprint being 30% less than the average American--has earned me some green brownie points.

So what if I use disposable diapers, toxic RAID, and energy-sucking halogen bulbs? Kill me already. I feel guilty sometimes, especially when I'm around moms who use cloth diapers and drive hybrids, but I try not to beat myself up. I could be a lot worse. And Kermit said it best: "It's not easy being Green."

HEINOUS TREND ALERT: Jeggings

Lovely Brit gals wearing TopShop jeggings

How are jeggings relevant to a blog that concerns itself with all things Gen X, you ask? Well, back in the good old 1980's we lived through a similar heinous pant trend: the reviled STIRRUP-PANT. No one--certainly not today's young, naive fashion victims--knows better than us just how awful leggings-gone-bad truly can be.

Take today, for example. I brought Charlotte to her music class and then couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that the teacher was wearing jeggings. This woman is not exactly over-the-hill (she appears to be in her late 40's); however, she does happen to have a very typical mother-of-two figure (i.e. not a size two). Don't get me wrong, I adore this woman. She's one of those rare persons who is so totally kind, welcoming, vivacious, happy, and positive, yet not at all annoying...so I will always give her the benefit of the doubt. However, she was NOT pulling the look off. At all.

Coincidentally, there was another person in music class wearing jeggings and absolutely ROCKING THEM. The fact that she was an adorable 18-month-old (whose mom paired the jeggings with a darling paisley tunic) just made the teacher's attempt at being hip even sadder.

Basically what it comes down to is this: Jeggings should NEVER EVER be worn. But if they must exist, then the wearer should be a tiny, precious, little girl. Fashionable prepubescent girls can also sort of pull off the look. And as far as adults go, if you were born after 1987 and are a size 0 or less, then you have the right to go for it. But if you aren't a stick, don't for a minute think jeggings are flattering.

Or you'll end up looking like this:

REMEMBER: FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WEAR JEGGINGS.

Rock-n-Roll...Suburban Style

I don't see live music too often anymore--my last big show was U2 a year ago--for these reasons:
1. Tickets and babysitters are expensive.
2. We no longer live in Manhattan and therefore have to drive.
3. The cool shows run late, and my kids wake up early.

But when I lived in the city, seeing live music was one of my favorite things to do. Bowery Ballroom, Mercury Lounge, Roseland Ballroom...I'm practically tearing up just thinking about the awesome times I've had at these (and other) venues.

Nowadays, when I do get to see live music, the experience is...shall we say...different. Take last night, for example. I went to a local bar/restaurant, Victor's, to see my neighbor's band play. Victor's is a total dive--there's really no other way to describe it. The place was even recently overhauled but a fresh coat of paint can't mask its divey-ness. Manhattan dives often have sexy histories: maybe Bob Dylan strummed guitar there or Dylan Thomas croaked there or Sid Vicious shot up there. But a local dive has just seen the same sad sacks year after year. And you won't find any cute bartenders at Victor's, just the same surly dude who's been working there for years (decades?).

Another big difference between last night and seeing a band in NYC was the crowd. There wasn't a hipster to be found at Victor's. The closest was a Joey Ramone look-alike. But he wasn't a hipster, he was just a weird dude who was stuck in the past and obviously hadn't cut his hair in years. And the women were all decked out--tight jeans, sparkly tank-tops, and stilettos (in a dive bar!)--with very big hair. They were also sorta old. It was totally Real Housewives of Westchester (but with less money).

In Manhattan, chicks at rock shows do not ever let on that they're trying to look hot. The goal is to look disheveled and little dirty--as if you couldn't care less about your appearance--but then somehow achieve the effect of being smokin' hot. It's not easy, folks.

Oh, and there were at least ten obvious alcoholics in the crowd last night.

But the music was loud, the band rocked, the crowd sang along, and the beer was cold. Not too different, after all.

When Is Your Hotness Expiration Date?

Last night, I watched the season premiere of one of my favorite shows, How I Met Your Mother. An observation was made on the show, which I found interesting. Robin, the headstrong Canadian, is suffering from a recent break-up, and she's really let herself go--she walks into the bar wearing dirty sweats, looking horrible, week-old Cheetos stuck in her ratty, greasy hair. Of course, everyone's favorite misogynist Barney Stinson has something to say. He tells her she's lost "it," that, "Girls are like milk; they have a hotness expiration date, and you've hit yours." Robin disagrees. She says she still has "it" and can get "it" back whenever she wants. She storms out of the bar and comes back a bit later all cleaned up and looking hot in a tight, white dress. She saunters up to the bar and is there just moments before a guy approaches. She glances at her watch, looks at Barney and gloats, "Fourteen seconds! Fourteen seconds and already some ding-dong steps up thinking he can get some of this!"

I hate to say it, but Barney sort of has a point. I do think each a person (men included) has his or her own unique Hotness Expiration Date. For some people it's 25--sad but true!--but a few lucky folks (Catherine Deneuve, Raquel Welch, Sean Connery, and Clint Eastwood come to mind) stay hot forever. For most, however, it's somewhere between 35 and 55. What's scary is that the person whose hotness is most at risk is often the last to know. He or she goes around acting, dressing, and thinking like a rockstar, not realizing it's just not happening anymore.

Maybe each of us should have our own personal Barney Stinson...to make the world a slightly less scary place.

My Thoughts Upon Hearing That There Might Be a New "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" Movie

I don't remember when I first laid eyes on Keanu Reeves. I know his first big role was in River's Edge (1986), and while I've definitely seen that movie, there's no way I was cool enough in 1986 to have seen such a dark flick. Sixteen Candles was more my speed. Therefore, my introduction to Keanu must've been Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989). That one I definitely saw in the theater. I remember laughing so freaking hard at the parts about "Sew-Crates;" I was taking a philosophy class in school at the time so the contrast between the real Socrates and the comedic Hollywood version was absolutely hysterical to me. It's also possible that some smuggled-in booze may have added to the hilarity.

But the main reason I thought Bill & Ted was the best movie EVER was because I fell in love with Keanu Reeves. I mean, seriously, he was the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen. By far.

Two years later Point Break came out, with a more mature, muscled, and even handsomer Keanu. It was summer, 1991, and I was spending it in Missoula, Montana--hiking, swimming in rivers, camping at Glacier Park, and drinking and partying with the locals. The renegade spirit of the movie spoke to me, since I was having my own incredible adventure, freer than I'd ever felt. When Cop Keanu catches a wave for the first time and then gets sucked into the surf punk scene, he starts questioning everything he'd worked to achieve. Which is exactly what I was doing in Missoula. Up to that point in my life, I'd been the perfect daughter: well-behaved, straight A's, Ivy League college. I was in Montana trying to figure out what I wanted from life and what was important to me. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but Keanu Reeves's character spoke to me.

Unfortunately, my love affair with Mr. Reeves didn't last. My Own Private Idaho was interesting, but then Speed, Johnny Mnemonic, and Chain Reaction came along. I fell out of love. By the time Matrix was released in 1999, I was so over him that I didn't even see it.

Now I hear a third Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure might be made. Here's a link with the details. I say bring it on. I could use a little Ted Logan in my life again.

Mariah Carey Is Trying to Ruin Your Christmas (Again)...and Other News

-- Mariah Carey has another Christmas album coming out (pictured left). Great photoshopping: she hasn't been that skinny since 1991!

-- Tom Cruise's favorite lesbian gets hitched. 

-- Pearl Jam frontman finally marries his baby-momma (and millions of women say, "Awww...")

-- Why you'll never catch me buying any L.A.M.B. clothing. My eyes are now bleeding.

-- As if Mondays don't suck enough, it turns out I'm older than The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Happy 40th!

-- Cousin Eddie is at it again! Sharing his gene pool with this whack-job can't be helping Dennis's career.

The Cult Is Back! (but don't try to find 'em on ITunes)

I heard a Cult song on the radio today. I'm not sure what song it was, but it sounded newish. It got me wondering what The Cult are up to these days. I sort of remembered an album coming out a few years ago (Born Into This), but I didn't hear much about it at the time. The single from the album, "Dirty Little Rockstar," got some radio play, but after that...nothing.

"She Sells Sanctuary" is one of the top ten best songs of the 1980's, for sure. Maybe one of the top 20 songs EVER. It's just...ahhhh, perfection. Ian Astbury has an incredibly distinctive and powerful voice. And then there's that hair. "She Sells Sanctuary" was released in the U.S. in 1985. When you think about the kind of songs on the charts then (Corey Hart's "Never Surrender" and Survivor's "High on You" were two of the year's biggest hits), it's not surprising that The Cult attracted rabid fans.

So after hearing the (new?) song on the radio today, I looked into what The Cult are doing these days. It turns out that on September 14th, they released an EP-type album that they're calling a "Capsule." It's called Capsule One, and you can purchase it here, but if you just want to buy the single called "Every Man and Woman Is a Star" you are out of luck. I read that it was available on ITunes and tried to check it out, but when I was rerouted to ITunes, I got this message: "The item you've requested is not currently available in the U.S. store." What kind of b.s. is that?

The song sounds pretty good. Here's an (amateur) video of The Cult performing it on tour in Europe this summer, so you can check it out for yourselves. I'm not sure if I want to fork over $12.99 for the measly five songs on Capsule One but I'd definitely be willing to shell out a couple bucks for the single. What's up with the U.S. being shut out?

Tickets Go on Sale Tomorrow, 9/17

Hmmm...I have two kids under the age of five...what are the chances I'll be getting to London this November? Such a bummer, because this looks like a fun night:

Yeah, I know the print is a bit small for all you Gen-Xers but this event--scheduled for Sunday, November 21st in London--will be featuring live performances by Adam Ant and Bow Wow Wow. And Andy Taylor, guitarist for Duran Duran, is one of the special guests.

Everyone's Favorite Golden Girl Has Done It Again

I've loved Betty White ever since I was a kid, when I would watch her as ditzy Sue Ann on reruns of The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Over the years, I've kept up with her career (of course I watched Golden Girls in the 80's; I mean, who didn't?), even managing to sit through the horrible Hot in Cleveland. Once.

As far as I'm concerned, Ms. White can do no wrong. Yeah, yeah, I know...she's everywhere all of a sudden and lots of people are getting sick of her. But seriously? She's still rockin' it at 88 years old! That's some impressive career.

For all you fans out there, Betty has made a hilarious video to promote her new apparel line, which includes items featuring her likeness on them. (I totally know what I want for Christmas now.) Even better: A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Morris Animal Foundation, a pet charity. Click here for some serious LOLZ.

Enjoy!

George Michael Is Going to Jail, and Other News

- Stemming from his DUI arrest this past July, George Michael has been sentenced to 60 days in jail (though he'll more likely only serve half that time).

- A "stripped down" version of John Lennon's 1980 album "Double Fantasy" will be reissued in October to coincide with what would've been Lennon's 70th birthday. Yoko Ono is overseeing the project. (This is sort of old news, but I hadn't heard about it until today so I'm posting it anyway.)

- For all you Michael Jackson fans out there: If you decide to make the trip to the Glendale, CA cemetery where The King of Pop is buried and want to leave a gift, you will now have to fork over $3 for the privilege. 

I Want My MTV

All last week, I was looking forward to the MTV Video Music Awards (which aired last night, 9/12). Yeah, I know...it's for 12-year-olds, so shoot me. But at 10:30 p.m., as I started getting ready for bed, I suddenly remembered: The goddamn, motherf*@#ing awards are on!! I had totally spaced. I rushed downstairs, thinking I'd catch the last half-hour, but because we were already taping both "Mad Men" and "Entourage," I couldn't watch without un-recording one of those shows. I sacrificed the first five minutes of "Entourage" to watch Chelsea Handler get in a hot tub with "The Jersey Shore" idiots (and emerge fake-pregnant--ha-ha, good one), but then turned the TV off, and went to bed. Forget it, I was too late.

What's the big deal, you ask? It's just a stupid awards show on a stupid channel with stupid shows and no videos, you say? Okay, you have a point...but I happen to love videos. Always have, always will.

"I want my MTV!" was music television's slogan in its early days, but it was also my most desperate wish. My grandmother, who lived in the next town over from us, got cable in the early 80's and therefore had MTV. Our more-upscale town, however, thought cable would rot our brains so they held out for years. No MTV for us.

As a result, when holidays came around and my family went to Grandma's house to celebrate, my brother and I (13 and 12 years old respectively) would park ourselves in front of the TV/MTV for six hours straight. I'm surprised my parents allowed this, but I guess they figured the silence was better than non-stop whining: "PLEEEEEEASE, can we watch MTV? PLEEEEEEASE?"

By age 12, I finally had outgrown the little-girl music I was previously obsessed with (Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett), and the videos on MTV--the first I'd ever seen--hit me like a ton of bricks. I was mesmerized by them: trying to figure out how exactly something could "Hurt So Good," examining Billy Idol's sexy lip curl as he rasped "Hot in the City," and watching a delicious Michael Hutchence circle that banquet table in "The One Thing." I'm sure there were some chick videos on, too, but I don't remember those.

Thus began my addiction to videos. It was hard to get my fix without cable or MTV, but luckily, the Boston area had a crummy local VHF channel, V66, that aired videos during certain time slots. They played some of the same videos as MTV but also gave local bands air time. I saw 'Til Tuesday's "Voices Carry" on V66 way before the song was a massive hit. Other Boston bands didn't hit it as big, but it doesn't mean they weren't good. Check out the video for Face to Face's "10-9-8," which I only ever saw on V66. (How hot are her red boots, by the way?)

I still watch videos whenever I can. At the gym, I often forgo my IPod to watch NYSC's video channel. If I have to suffer through Christinia DeBarge (could she really be the evil spawn of the DeBarge of the 80's?) to see the new Ting Tings vid, it's worth it. I even occasionally watch videos On Demand. (I mean, really, who does that?)

George Michael's "Faith" Is Being Reissued (the bathroom jokes may now commence)

On September 27th, Sony Music is reissuing a remastered version of George Michael's 1987 album, Faith, in the U.K. Various formats will be offered, including a Limited Edition Collectors box set.

Are you rejoicing over this news or laughing your butt off? George Michael tends to provoke extreme reactions in people. The man has sold millions of records--he obviously has his followers--but there are few artists out there who provoke as much ridicule as Andrew Ridgeley's former bandmate.

George Michael gets a bad rap. Sure, in some ways he deserves it. How many times was he caught propositioning men in public bathrooms, again? Then there were a couple of DUIs and drug arrests, I think. (I didn't look up his record so I'm not sure about the actual charges...but it's not the point of this post anyway.)

The bad rap I'm talking about is regarding his musicianship. People have always made fun of George Michael. Yes, Wham! was lame; yes, he sported that awful five o'clock shadow 24/7; and yes, he was often decked out head-to-toe in black leather. But let's give credit where credit is due: the man has one of the best voices out there. Ever. 

I've never bought or owned anything by George Michael but despite that, his music made up a significant part of the soundtrack to my adolescence. "I Want Your Sex," "Faith," and "Father Figure" are the three best-known singles from Faith. I remember riding in my friend's convertible in the summer of '87 with the top down, singing along to "I Want Your Sex," (not that either of us had had any yet). It was our last hurrah before starting college. A few months later, I was sweating along to "Faith" in an aerobics class offered through my college. The following winter, "Father Figure" was released, and to this day, whenever I hear that song, those dark, dreary, and depressing days come back to me. 

Despite not really caring for pop/R&B music in general, and not thinking much about George Michael specifically, I find myself always defending him to the haters--his voice, his songs, and even his character. His music is just too much a part of the girl I used to be. How could I not love it? 

Photographer Responsible for "Heroin Chic" Dies

K. Moss by C. Day, 1990

Corinne Day, the photographer responsible for putting Kate Moss on the map, passed away a couple of weeks ago at age 48, from a cancerous brain tumor. In 1990, Ms. Day photographed a very young and innocent-looking teenage Kate Moss for British magazine, The Face. Clearly, Ms. Day was a talented photographer, and it's always sad to lose an artist before his or her time; but that said, Ms. Day started something that, while innocent at the time, ended up becoming very dark and destructive.

Ms. Day's naturalistic (not airbrushed) photos were labelled "gritty" and "grunge," and they were refreshing after the big hair, padded shoulders, and caked-on makeup that characterized fashion photography of the late 1980's.  But over the next few years, this gritty style got more and more extreme. Relatively healthy-looking models like Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell were replaced by gals like Moss who looked anorexic and/or addicted. "Heroin Chic" was born.

by Mario Sorrenti, 1993

In 1993, Ms. Day took another batch of photos of Ms. Moss for British Vogue. The photos came under fire because of how skinny Ms. Moss's appeared in them. People suspected an eating disorder or drug addiction. Adding fuel to the fire were photos taken of Kate Moss by Mario Sorrenti for Calvin Klein's Obsession for Men campaign. The images of an emaciated, wasted-looking Moss were EVERYWHERE: billboards, the sides of buses, every magazine you opened.

At the same time, grunge was taking over the music charts, heroin usage was on the rise, the economy sucked, and the crime rate was skyrocketing. It was a dark time, and though photos of some skinny British model seem insignificant in comparison, if you were a young woman at the time, you couldn't help but be negatively affected by them.

Thin was obviously in, and for me--a highly-impressionable young woman, recently out of college, just moved to Manhattan, trying to find a career (and a life)--it was powerful stuff. Girls in the city actually WERE that skinny, and they pouted and slouched and smoked their way around the Lower East Side looking gorgeous. My body shape naturally being closer to Kate Moss than Anna Nicole Smith, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Many fewer calories and lots of miles on the treadmill later, my body actually (scarily) resembled Ms. Moss's.

No, I'm not blaming Corinne Day for my journey to the dark side, but if she'd not taken those photos of Kate Moss back in 1990 that catapulted her to fame, who knows what the alternative would've been? All I'm saying is that in the early 90's, when conditions in the world were so dark and depressing, did we really need art and advertising to echo the times?

Lilith Fair 4.0

Throughout this summer, I vaguely followed the progress of Lilith Fair 2010: After a more than ten year hiatus, Sarah McLachlan had organized another all-female festival, with lots of old and new artists scheduled to perform, such as Sheryl Crow, Mary J. Blige, Kelly Clarkson, Indigo Girls, and Emmylou Harris. It was big news in the summer music-festival circuit. I wasn't paying much attention at first (I don't go to many festivals these days), but shortly after the line-up was announced, things started going terribly wrong. That's when I got interested.

Due to lackluster sales, a bunch of tour dates were cancelled. Then various headliners began dropping out: first Carly Simon, then Norah Jones, Kelly Clarkson, The Go-Go's, and Queen Latifah. Media outlets were calling it a huge failure.

The latest news, however, isn't quite that grim. Despite the cancelled shows and poor ticket sales, Lilith Fair ended up raising $500,000 for North American charities. So that's pretty good...but I'm sure Sarah M. originally intended the amount to be much higher (the first three concerts in '97, '98', and '99 raised over $10 million).

To be honest, singer/songwriters were never my thing (I've always been more of a rock-band kinda girl) and sitting through an entire Lilith Fair experience actually sounds painful to me, but that doesn't mean I don't love the idea of it: a concert by and for women (and their ridiculously sensitive boyfriends). If you're a woman, what's not to like?

So, what happened this time around? Obviously, not enough young women bought tickets. Because by now, a large portion of Lilith's original audience from the late 90's is probably saddled with young kids, making attending a festival out of the question. Did the young 20-somethings not realize the baton was being passed to them or did they just not want to grab it? I'd argue for the latter. After all, female artists have come a long way since the mid to late 90's; back then, most of the women in the biz were making dance music (Mariah, Janet, Madonna). So when the singer/songwriter variety took the world by storm it was like, "WOW, these chicks are TALENTED! I feel empowered! Let's check them out!" Now it's almost the norm for women artists to write the lyrics, arrange the music, play an instrument (or two), AND sing the song. So what's the big deal about a bunch of women performing at a festival? It kinda seems quaint.

So I'm not surprised Lilith Fair didn't take off this year. However, Sarah M. says she's going to put together another one next summer. I think she would be smart to do some rebranding: Make it hipper and sexier. More tattoos, less granola. Then perhaps the young ladies will come out in force and raise more money for charity. Hey, it could happen.

What to Wear?

I'm in a rut. For a while now, I've been having trouble figuring out what to wear. I'm not a kid anymore so I can't exactly go around dressed like Avril Lavigne. (Wish I could, though!) It would be easier if I was a prep by nature--then I could just live in Ann Taylor and be happy--but that's not my style.

Part of my problem is that I'm not a big clothes shopper anymore so I don't even know what's out there that's both cool yet appropriate for a mom my age. It used to be way more fun to shop when I lived in the city and had a social life--there were places to go where I could wear the fabulous things I bought. Then came the baby/spit-up years when all I wore was old stuff I didn't care about. But now that my kids keep their food down and I'm back to my fighting weight, it's time to get some style back into my life.

The summer is easy because all you have to do is toss on a cute, comfortable skirt and funky sandals to look good. But when it gets colder, I mostly turn to jeans and boring, long-sleeved shirts. Pair that with comfortable (dull) black shoes and you see where I'm coming from. All I really want to do when it's cold is hibernate, so it's hard to get excited about fashion. But I want to spice things up a bit this year. Last winter, I tried black leggings and long sweaters but when you're dragging two little kids around with you everywhere, it can easily look like maybe you're pregnant with #3. No thanks.

Many of the brands marketed to the slightly more mature woman look to me like old lady clothes. Eileen Fisher, anyone? The Gap and Banana Republic are okay but often so boring. Shopping at places like that is what got me into this rut in the first place.

Part of my problem is that the clothes I really want to wear aren't exactly appropriate for an almost-middle-aged mom like me. I'll show you what I mean. Here is my favorite T-shirt (which I haven't worn since 2004 due to mom-hood):

Clearly inappropriate for small children's eyes. And even if the tykes can't read, their moms can and wouldn't appreciate it, I'm sure. Hey, I don't want to make any enemies, I just want to be unique.

                                                   So, while I want to dress like this:                              

  

                                                  I feel pressure to dress more like this:

What's a suburban mom to do?

Hollywood Goes Overboard

Footloose, Overboard, Ghostbusters, Tron, Arthur...no, this isn't a list of movies you cut school to see back in high school. It's the flicks you can look forward to seeing displayed at your local marquee over the next couple of years. (True Fact: I saw Footloose on my first date ever, freshman year.)

I get it. Hollywood has always tried to make a buck however it can. And it's not like I didn't see my share of remakes when I was a youngster. Three Men and a Baby, Dangerous Liaisons, Little Shop of Horrors, and The Fly were all successful 80's remakes of earlier films.

Not all these remakes sound horrendous. Arthur, with Russell Brand and Helen Mirren replacing Dudley Moore and John Gielgud actually looks promising (but then again, Dudley Moore always freaked me out). But Overboard?! With J.Lo instead of Goldie Hawn?! I'd rather watch Charlie St. Cloud ten times in a row.

The thing that scares me most is that you know the Hollywood bigwigs are tossing around ideas for an E.T remake. I'm sure it would be a grand spectacle with tremendous special effects but, oh, gee, that's not something I want to see. The beauty of the original was it's complete low-techiness. Hopefully, even greedy movie honchos know when to leave well enough alone. Because, seriously, what would "Phone home" in the remake be, "Skype home"?